THE INTEGRITY OF SELF-CARE
MOVEMENTS & MOMENTS
Strategies for Managing Stress
In The Context of Global Instability
How can we manage stress with integrity?
Self-care is so often touted as the answer to all things. However self-care can easily be an isolating and privileged choice, involving actions taken solely for personal benefit and at the expense of others. “Self-care” of this kind is often referred to as ‘taking care of mental health’ or ‘cocooning to not feel overwhelmed’. (Please note these examples are categorically different from having a mental health diagnosis).
The methodology is a way to distance the heart from others, and may lead to withdrawal from social responsibilities and relationships, potentially causing harm to connections and community.
Some examples of using self-care as a tool of isolation and privilege:
Cancelling plans with friends or family last minute to prioritise alone time.
Ignoring others' needs or responsibilities in favour of personal relaxation or leisure.
Overspending on items or experiences without considering financial consequences.
Refusing to help someone in need because it might inconvenience you.
Taking excessive time off work or neglecting professional commitments without regard for colleagues or clients.
Not getting involved in community, political or social issues because they may not be directly affecting individuals.
In contrast, self-care as a holistic practice with the intention to better serve both oneself and others involves actions that promote personal well-being while recognising the interconnectedness of ourselves within a broader community. It acknowledges that taking care of oneself is essential for being able to contribute positively to others and society, fostering a sense of balance and harmony.
This approach seeks to align self-care with the well-being of others and the greater good. Some examples of holistic self-care include:
Prioritising regular exercise and healthy eating to maintain physical and mental well-being, enabling you to be more present and supportive for your family.
Engaging in active listening and empathetic conversations with friends or loved ones to nurture relationships and provide emotional support.
Managing stress through mindfulness meditation (and yoga), which can help you remain calm and make better decisions in your work, therefore benefiting both yourself and your team.
Volunteering your time to help a charitable organisation, enhancing your sense of purpose and contributing to a cause that benefits others.
Creating boundaries and saying "no" when necessary to prevent burnout, ensuring you can continue to provide your best self to your family, friends, and work obligations. This can be actioned in a deliberate and respectful way that takes into consideration the impact of your decisions and the consequences.
This sounds all well and good, but too often we might feel like we are just above drowning in overwhelm and survival mode.
When we are in this state, neuroscience and trauma-informed research tells us that it’s:
Hard to make changes.
Challenging to alter habits.
A struggle to get motivated or maintain momentum.
Likely procrastination will prevail.
Possible you will have limited amount of energy while simultaneously finding it hard to rest.
What can we do with this information?
In the context of self-care and the differentiation between isolating choices vs holistic practices, the notion of integrity refers to the quality of being honest and consistent in your actions and values.
This means aligning your self-care choices with your principles, and considering the impact of those choices on both yourself and others.
Having integrity in self-care means both your thoughts and actions are harmonious with your moral and ethical beliefs; therefore your own well-being is congruent not only with your values, but also with the well-being of others.
Without question, a great place to start is sleep ~ good quality sleep is vital for emotional wellness. This is a habit to cultivate and be very consistent with. Have a regular sleeping pattern. Go to bed at the same time regularly; Wake and get up at the same time regularly; pick a routine of 7 to 9 hours sleep. Do not oversleep; if you have nights out, disruptive travel, shift work or interrupted sleep, ensure you re-set yourself as soon as possible. Sleeping without light using a sleep mask or blackout blinds is excellent; expose your eyes to natural light as close to rising as possible.
For a more in-depth analysis of the benefits of a sleep schedule and how to create one for yourself, please head to my previous post on The Importance of Sleep.
If you often feel depleted or in overwhelm or you sense a pattern of deflection, isolation and distraction you may be avoiding the sensation of being uncomfortable.
There are four main gentle components listed here, to shift this mindset. Practicing these regularly will ensure self-care is possible and is felt with intention for the benefit of yourself and those around you.
Living Intentionally
Being intentional and aligned with values is something I thought I was doing organically and intuitively. Perhaps, to a certain extent this was true. However to really live an aligned life one must be willing to question current beliefs and then edit these in order to catch up with your growth and evolutions. One thing to do is journal 3 to 5 core values, be these spiritual, cultural or ethical, and write a description about the ways you can live with these principles daily, weekly and monthly. I like to do this again in late December or early January as an intentional way to begin a new year. But now is always a perfect time.
Aligning yourself with 3 to 5 core values sets intention in your life and facilitates your self care journey to maintain integrity and depth.
Gratitude
In order to see the blessings in life we need to allow things to be as they are and to have a gratitude for ourselves and others in the present moment. Cultivate gratitude daily, and you will smile more naturally. For myself, I keep a ‘little book of gratitude’, a daily journal where I write as few as three things per day that I am grateful for — these might be simple, like the hot and strong morning coffee I really enjoyed, or more complex, like the details of a day I spent with my children and the conversations we had together. Gratitude is a curious enigma because the more you feed it, the more it expands. And in my experience, the more gratitude cultivated, the deeper and greater your connection to emotional wellness becomes.
A little while ago, I wrote a blog post about the importance of glimmers or moments of hope each day. Purposefully creating glimmers in our lives can shift our focus away from negativity and a scarcity mindset — this is something we are prone to, such as hopelessness, complaining and comparison. In addition to my original blog, I wrote a sequel on spiritual glimmers, something I am also personally dedicated to.
Somatic Movement
Somatic movement is moving organically ~ allowing yourself to move from a place of emotion, sensation and intuition ~ such as dancing, shaking, with or without music, move from a place of feeling rather than what you think you want to look like. Somatic movement refers to a type of movement therapy that focuses on increasing body awareness, releasing muscle tension, and improving overall movement patterns. All you need is 10mins a day to start to release built up emotions and stagnation. Again I have written more on this in my posts about Somatic Movement and the 75JOY Program.
Mindful Technology
Schedule time off your screens every day. An hour is usually manageable with work and other commitments. Block your social media apps and detox from technology regularly. You can utilise your own reminders or the settings on your devices. I use an extra app that prevents me from accessing specific applications at various times. Currently I have a block on all social media apps ~ which means an application asks me questions before I can access any social media. I also schedule a blackout on all social media from 9pm at night to 9am the next day. The application offers a pause feature, but again, I’m required to cross a number of hurdles before accessing any content.
Earlier this year I created a program to elicit more joy daily. In the 75JOY workbook I’ve outlined these essential self-care measures. Being a human in 2023 can feel overwhelming, and for many of us our instinct leads us to perform the best for ourselves and our communities. We can achieve this without adrenal fatigue and burnout ~ simply be maintaining systems and habits without isolating and individualising our self-care
I will sign off with a final fascinating finding: In studies on concentrated populations of centenarians researchers found that community and connection was a major contributor to happiness, life satisfaction, mental health and physical longevity.