PERFECT LEADS TO IMPERFECTION
MOVEMENTS & MOMENTS
Strategies for Letting Go
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterised by setting excessively high standards for oneself, striving for flawlessness, and being overly critical of one's performance. Perfectionists often believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable, leading to persistent dissatisfaction and a constant sense of failure.
This mindset can manifest in various aspects of life, including work, relationships, and personal endeavours.
But what is “perfect”?
Perfect is an subjective idea, meaning that its a preconceived notion of the individual that “perfect” is outside of oneself and often exists somewhere far away in the future. Perfectionism is very overrated because it can lead to unrealistic expectations, excessive self-criticism, and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfect is by its very nature, unobtainable and therefore a striving to embody perfect is fruitless.
Some features of perfectionism include:
1. Unattainable Standards: Perfectionists often set impossibly high standards for themselves, leading to constant feelings of failure and inadequacy.
2. Procrastination: The fear of making mistakes can lead to procrastination or avoidance of tasks altogether, hindering productivity and progress.
3. Impaired Relationships: Perfectionism can strain relationships as individuals may impose unrealistic standards on others, leading to frustration and resentment.
4. Diminished Well-being: Constantly striving for perfection can take a toll on mental and physical health, contributing to stress, anxiety, and even depression.
5. Stifled Creativity: Perfectionism can inhibit creativity and innovation, as individuals may be hesitant to take risks or try new approaches for fear of failure.
Although perfectionism is not a new phenomena there is a current show of unattainable standards on social media channels regarding life achievements, success/failure, financial affluence, youthful appearance and cultural beauty standards.
Of course there is a lot of social media content debunking these standards, however the existence of perfected and curated windows into peoples lives has created a distorted life lens through which we see a lot of the world.
In the realm of social media, perfectionism often revolves around presenting an idealised version of oneself or one's life to others. This can include meticulous posts, carefully selected photos, and filtered content that portrays a “flawless” image. Creators and observers alike may feel pressure to maintain this facade of perfection in order to gain validation, approval, or admiration from their friends, community and social media followers.
The pursuit of perfection on social media can have negative undercurrents:
1. Inauthenticity: Constantly portraying a perfect image can lead to a lack of authenticity and genuine connection, as it creates a barrier between the self and the online persona.
2. Comparison & Envy: Seeing idealised images of others on social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy and envy as individuals compare themselves to unrealistic standards.
3. Mental Health Impact: The pressure to maintain a perfect image on social media can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, especially when individuals feel they can't measure up to the seemingly perfect lives portrayed by others.
4. Time and Energy Strain: Striving for perfection on social media can be time-consuming and emotionally draining, detracting from real-life experiences and relationships.
Perfectionists may also experience anxiety, stress, and self-doubt due to their relentless pursuit of perfection. Striving for excellence and self-improvement can be admirable, however the pursuit of perfection often comes at a significant cost to one’s well-being and overall satisfaction in life. It’s essential to embrace imperfection, learn from mistakes, and prioritise progress over perfection.
Fatigue as an Influencer
When the brain is fatigued, it can impact various cognitive functions, including emotional regulation. Fatigue may compromise the brain’s ability to manage emotions effectively, leading to heightened emotional responses or a reduced ability to cope with stress.
Fatigue from everyday life can occur easily, especially with perfectionism in play. Sometimes we have a tendency to fixate on what we are not doing or not achieving and this type of perfectionism fuels exhaustion leading to adrenal fatigue and burnout. Additionally, this exhaustion can affect neurotransmitter levels and disrupt the balance of chemicals in the brain, influencing emotional states; creating a vicious cycle.
Letting go of expectations and allowing the beautiful messiness of life to pervade the everyday can be challenging but is ultimately liberating.
Here are some strategies to unravel perfection:
1. Practice Mindfulness: Focus on the present moment and accept things as they are without judgment. Mindfulness can help you observe expectations and cultivate a greater sense of acceptance.
2. Challenge Unrealistic Expectations: Examine your expectations and ask yourself if they are true to your deep self ~ or if they are based on societal pressures, perfectionism, or unrealistic standards. Find your mental flexibility to change directions and release these old patterns or ideas.
3. Shift Focus to Effort & Process: Instead of fixating on outcomes, focus on the effort you put into tasks and the process of growth and learning. Its a cliché but a powerful one ~ embrace the journey rather than solely focusing on the destination.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to make mistakes or fall short of limiting expectations. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend or a loved one. I always find it useful to think about how we speak to children with understanding.
5. Set Intentions, Instead of Expectations: Rather than setting rigid expectations, set intentions for how you want to approach situations or experiences. Intentions allow for flexibility and openness to whatever outcome may arise.
6. Embrace Uncertainty: Recognise that life is unpredictable, and uncertainty is a natural part of the human experience. This is challenging if you enjoy managing outcomes. Embracing the unknown can be achieved via small steps. The first step is to trust in your ability to navigate whatever comes your way.
7. Focus on What You Can Control: The classic adage to shift your focus to things within your control! These include your attitudes, behaviours, and responses to situations. Paying closer attention to these is very empowering, rather than dwelling on external factors beyond your control.
8. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or a therapist who can offer encouragement, perspective, and guidance as you work on letting go of expectations. I would definitely include body therapeutics in this category as well. Massages, chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture or the like are massive support systems for your body and mind to release stress and help you land into a holistic feeling of selfhood.
9. Move Your Body: Engaging in physical activities such as somatic movement, challenging exercise, team sports, dancing, yoga - or even just crying or laughing - serve as a release mechanism. These actions help dissipate the physiological arousal associated with strong emotions. Engaging in physical activities like exercise can provide an outlet for emotions, promoting both mental and physical health. While crying can be cathartic and reduce stress and laughter releases endorphins, contributing to a sense of well-being. The body’s physical response to emotions is a natural and adaptive way to manage and express the complexities of our feelings.
The release of emotions can have several benefits, including stress reduction, improved mood, and enhanced emotional well-being. Expressing emotions, whether through talking, writing, movement or other outlets, can help process and cope with challenging experiences. It can foster a sense of catharsis and contribute to overall mental health by preventing the buildup of emotional tension.
Remember that letting go of expectations is a journey, and it may take time and practice to cultivate a mindset of acceptance and flexibility. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress you make along the way.
This process of letting go disallows spaces in the body and mind for fixation and perfectionism. Ironically letting go of those attributes enables us to be even more perfect in our imperfections - grounded in the true self, with softness and acceptance.